just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
whose parrot is this?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
