He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
