Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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