I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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