nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
