THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
