she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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