My room smells like vodka and shame
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
