Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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