Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
