im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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