the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
