oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
