What a fucking waste of an outfit
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
