32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
