i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
