two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
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Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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