If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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