just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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