I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
