mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
