If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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