Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
