O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
two words...techno handjob
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
