And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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