who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
