Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize