So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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