had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
