you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're breaking my sexual little heart
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
