Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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