omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
