Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
