those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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