The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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