Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
