i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
