eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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