i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
