what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
