We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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