I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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