i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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