i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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