I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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