it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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