is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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