I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
