So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
worst night to have a conscience
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
