so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
