i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my being single is dangerous.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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