her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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