Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
