We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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