On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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