Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
