its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
