break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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