Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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