Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
