hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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