I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
