so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
