We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
