new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
