It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
