I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
