What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
