Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
