I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
